Showing posts with label defeated. Show all posts
Showing posts with label defeated. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Mulligan ….. for the last 30 days


I feel like these last t30 days have been a total disaster, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I was sick the whole month of February, Lena was getting all of her 2 year molars in at once, and to really top it off, we thought we had to put Lexi (one of our amazing dogs) down yesterday. It has been a roller-caster of emotions and so many times I just wanted this nightmare to just stop. A lot of other things just kept pilling up and adding to the stress, but those were the sprinkles on the Sunday.  So many times I just wanted to throw in the Towel and say “eff it” and wanted to just run away. I know everyone gets those moments, especially when you are sleep deprived and are not happy the way your life is going.

It started a few days before my birthday, when Lexi just started looking down and stopped eating. At first it was just the dry food and cookies, but then it became the wet food and eventually chicken breast. It has been like this the last 3 weeks. My dog lost 11 pounds in 5 days one week. We had been taking her to the vet twice a week to figure out what was wrong, and she got diagnosed with a Thyroid issue, low grade Valley Fever and some bacterial thing. Well the eating did not come back. Yesterday I took her to the vet because she didn’t even want to walk and was so weak, I was fully thinking we would have to put her down. The doctor toyed with the Idea as well, but first wanted to do an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed what could either be a bleeding ulcer or stomach cancer. Right now we are hoping for the Ulcer and are treating her for it. The thing that gets me is that if she has stomach cancer it would be the EXACT same my dad had, and died from. I just want my little big Lexi to get better and be happy again, she is after all our “muffin”.

With all the sickness, stress, sleepless nights (thanks Lena ;)) I have found ZERO motivation to workout or lose weight. Actually I gained like 2 pounds, and I know it is all stress and water related. This week I will get back on the bandwagon and work out, especially since I just signed Rob and myself up for Pat’s Run!

The next 30 days, I promise to make them better and not get so down and really work on the life we deserve and not create. 

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

One of those days!

As much as I want to be strong and upbeat, I think we all have one of those days, where we feel defeated.Today is that day! I stepped on the scale, and no matter how many times I told myself "the number does not matter", today it did. I feel discouraged because it have not moved in two weeks. Not even a smidge. It is hard because I am working so hard to eat the right things, and exercise , but nothing is happening. Maybe one morning I will wake up and 10 pounds will be gone, and then I will wake up from the dream. The scale has to move! It would be different if I wasn't as heavy as I am right now, because of the plateau factor. However, that is not the case because I see so many heavy people doing the same thing I am and it is melting off.
I know what kind of a funk I can get into, I just hope I can pull myself out. Le sigh........
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